Reuben Ghazaly (left) and his wife, Brendalyn, and son, Jayden, have Bible-based family discussions each Monday night.
The stream of tough topics for parents to explain can feel unending: social unrest, hate crimes, natural disasters … the pandemic. Many children and teens have struggled to process what they see at school, in their neighborhoods and on the news.
Reuben and Brendalyn Ghazaly of Milwaukee confront this challenge with their son, Jayden, every Monday evening, a time the family has come to protect from outside disruptions.
“I could count on one hand the number of times it has changed,” Brendalyn said of the family discussion hour. “It’s that moment for us to connect as a family, but it’s also to talk about whatever is going on with us a family and address those things.”
Jayden, 14, agreed. “It gets my week off to a good start.”
The discussions also help Jayden process what he encounters at school, particularly where the topic of race is involved, since his parents are an interracial couple.
“We know we need to address the issue of racism, because it’s affecting him,” Brendalyn said. “It might be something on the news that might bother him or might bother me.”
In an ever-changing and challenging world, experts recommend regular family discussions to help young ones build resilience.
“Good communication is essential for a child’s survival in this world,” said James Wright, a California-based family counselor and conflict resolution mediator. “Why not have a family discussion once a week and talk about what’s going on in your lives?”
Brendalyn Ghazaly (left) finds that her son, Jayden, is more willing to talk when they do activities together, such as baking cookies.
The Ghazaly family is not alone in holding to a set time to have family discussions. For nearly two decades, families of Jehovah’s Witnesses like theirs around the world have been encouraged to make “family worship” an uninterrupted weekly routine.
“For many of our families, their weekly discussions are among the most important hours of the week,” said Robert Hendriks, U.S. spokesman for Jehovah’s Witnesses. “It has brought thousands of our families closer together and helped children feel safe and loved.”
In hurricane-pummeled New Orleans, the Andrades address safety concerns with their two sons during their family worship night. “On one of our family nights, we were able to put our emergency go bags together and practice what we would do if we were to get separated during a natural disaster,” said mom Ashley Andrade, who evacuated with her family before Hurricane Ida uprooted trees and downed power lines on their street.
Her family strengthened this routine in 2009 when Jehovah’s Witnesses reduced their midweek meetings from two to one, freeing up an evening each week for families to enjoy such time together.
“Meeting in large groups for worship is a Bible command, but the Bible also tells parents to make time to talk with their kids,” Hendriks said. “The change to our weekly meetings helped families to prioritize unhurried Bible discussions tailored to their needs.”
The Ghazaly family has found that those needs arise during other activities, such as while baking together. “Some of the activities that we do really allow us to have one-on-one time with Jayden,” Brendalyn said. “He talks a little bit more and he’ll share a little bit more.”
Along with serious topics, the Ghazaly family mixes in singing, dramatic performances and treasure hunts in their family worship together. “I want to keep my son engaged, and I want to keep my wife engaged as well,” Reuben said. “Sometimes we’ll just do a karaoke song. Each one of us gets a chance to sing a song. It’s nice to see the excitement.”
“I enjoy when we do original songs, and I enjoy dancing and singing. It makes me happy,” Jayden said of the songs found on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
These family nights do more than entertain and educate. They provide young people a powerful way to deal with the situations they encounter. “If we go over the challenges that we face today, it brings comfort, it makes me feel better, and it makes me feel more relaxed to go through the week,” Jayden said.
More resources for helping teenagers can be found at jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses.