Kweku’s Korner
By Dr. Kweku Akyirefi Amoasi
Kweku Akyirefi Amoasi, formerly known as Ramel Smith
We lie every day. Some big lies. Some little lies. Some lies we don’t even recognize as lies. Sometimes, those lies are to others. Sometimes to our employers. Sometimes to our family. Sometimes to our friends. Sometimes, even to ourselves. Why do we lie? For multiple reasons, such as, but not limited to: 1) protecting other’s feelings; 2) for self-preservation or gain; 3) to keep a secret; and 4) for sport. When we lie, we are intelligent enough to convince ourselves it is true or rationalize and justify our actions; however, there is a give and take for those words that were created to sow confusion and division.
When there is something wrong, we look for the source to diagnose and then find the cure. In the world of psychology, we often tell those who are seeking to find answers they must be honest with themselves in therapy. People will usually start with the tip of the iceberg problems. These are problems that are real, but not the true source of the matter. This is where brief therapy (8 weeks) can work and show results. This is the honeymoon phase of therapy, with almost instantaneous results. However, most people start to feel like therapy is no longer doing what it used to do, because the next statistically significant change does not occur for 6 months, then one year, and then two years, respectively.
Most people do not make it after two months because 1) their HMO only paid for 8 sessions; 2) they had to pay out of pocket and could not afford to continue, even with the sliding scale; 3) the therapist started to hit on some deeper truths. The sessions bring to the surface the lies we told to ourselves or dig up some memories and thoughts we had deeply repressed in our subconscious, and 4) some therapists are not a good fit for them. Therapy is not really the issue. We would need no therapy if the world were not full of lies. The lies created by our world are the source of our problems. The external lies eventually turn inward, and we assimilate to maintain a level of saneness in and world that is irrational.
In America, we are lied to by systems, and systems designed to protect us. Our FDA allows our children to eat foods that are not fit for human consumption. Our EPA allows companies to create products that are not good for humans or the planet. The CDC allows for numerous pharmaceuticals to be the standard when they should not be an option. And, then after the people are dependent on them, they price them so outrageously high they can barely afford them, if at all. We can discuss other systems where lies continue to keep the people confused and in pain, such as the education, legal, and religious systems.
When people live in a world of lies and hypocrisy, we see the worst of humanity. Wonder why we have bullying behavior, domestic violence, senseless murders, misery, and sadness? Our woes are hidden in the lies we accept and promote. Even those who outwardly benefit from the lies understand there is an internal price to pay eventually. Until the world comes to a larger acceptance and realization, we can individually begin this internal revolution and become honest with ourselves, and commit to being our best selves and sharing it with the world. Our healing comes from our honesty, and therein lies the truth! Let this guide your New Year’s Resolution.