Kweku’s Korner
“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” -Audre Lorde (1934-1992)
By Simmone Kilgore MS, LPC
Simmone Kilgore MS, LPC
How many women can relate to Audre Lorde’s quote about self-love, self-esteem, self-efficacy and self-determination? She often spoke of the complexities of life and liberation for people of color and specifically for women of color. She warned us to be aware of the oppressive values we hold for ourselves and others by taking account of our triumphs as well as our mistakes.
We all have a story that is not written but that lives inside our heads. This story is woven into every part of our lives, and it shapes how we navigate decisions. This is called Narrative Identity and it tells us who we are, where we have been and where we are heading. It influences how we feel about ourselves, how we respond to life challenges, how we relate to others and how we anticipate the future. What is your Narrative Identity saying to you? How is it defining the woman you are and the woman you want to be?
It is crucial to acknowledge the indispensable role of women in shaping our world. From being entrusted with profound responsibilities, like Mary bearing Christ, to nurturing life and guiding movements, women possess a unique ability to birth nations, purpose, healing and power. We must embrace the gift of life and recognize the spiritual and physical dimensions of our existence. Incorporating hope and healing into our daily lives is essential for optimal health and resilience. Even in the face of challenges, let’s not forget the transformative potential of hope and healing, which drives wellness, progress, reinvention, self-forgiveness and positive trajectory ensuring a brighter future for us.
Our holistic wellbeing, encompassing our mind, body, instincts, emotions, intellect and spirituality requires comprehensive consideration. In the journey of self-study, we must recognize that life presents numerous hurdles, all of which we possess the capacity to overcome. Pain and life challenges are an inevitable aspect of the human experience, yet we often cling to people, past mistakes, and experiences for far too long out of fear of the unknown. We attempt to control and avoid painful experiences, unaware that hope and healing patiently await our readiness to release them, signaling our willingness to heal and embrace the future with courage.
It’s crucial to acknowledge that if we don’t fill our minds with God’s Word, His promises and His redemptive work on the cross, as well as positive self-talk and things that bring us peace then the stressors of life will fill it with more pain, anxiety, negativity and temptation; all of which keeps us positioned for a hopeless existence. As a route to improved wellbeing for women, we must recognize that hope is foundational.
The goal is to create a rich and meaningful life, while accepting the fact that pain is part of life-EMBRACE IT! Pain has the power to shape and reveal our inner selves. It’s designed to shape you and show you your resilience. We often talk about being “people of faith,” and amidst many trials, women have historically understood that hope and healing are catalysts for activating a life of joy even in our darkest moments. We must appreciate that hope is a condition of faith…it activates faith. Hebrews 11:1 state, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Leave space for hope and healing, visualize how it can be incorporated into your daily lives, make choices that activate these constructs into your routine for holistic wellness. Personally, I have had to remind myself on many difficult occasions to prioritize exercises that uplift my spirits and affirmations that strengthen my mindset. I have had to EXERCISE my faith. In the works of my dear Sista-Friend, Make Something Shake Sistas.
Happy Women’s Month! (Today and Everyday)