By Kristen J. Amundson
At this time of year, many preschool parents are worrying about whether their child will be ready for kindergarten. What are the things their child should learn? Do they need to make alphabet flash cards? Invest in worksheets so kids can practice math. I talked with kindergarten teachers to find out what they think kids need to know to be kindergarten-ready. You may be surprised: Readiness for school, teachers say, does not mean that your child will have mastered all the kindergarten skills on Day One. Instead, it means that your child will take pleasure in learning how to do things on their own.
One kindergarten teacher said to me, “I can teach kids their ABCs. I can’t teach them —at least not very efficiently— to help them get along with others and to understand that they aren’t going to get their own way all the time in school.” If you always do things for your child, and always tell them what to do, they will not be able to make their own decisions and learn how to be independent. One good rule of thumb for parents of toddlers: whenever possible, avoid doing things for your child that they can do on their own.
Kindergarteners are expected to take responsibility for their belongings. They put their lunch box in the right place. They hang up their coat. During the day, they use the restroom and wash their hands by themselves. In the cafeteria, children must put the straw in their juice box or open the milk carton. They must get the foil on top of the applesauce. “The whole first month in the cafeteria, we’re helping children learn to open things,” one teacher said. “They’re always surprised that ketchup packages have a little line that shows you where to tear to get the ketchup out.” So, teach your child how to do those things before the first day of school.
Let your toddler eat (and accept that mealtime will be messy and s-l-o-w, at least at first). Let young children choose what they want to wear—and relax if they choose to wear the polka-dot shirt with the checked pants. Encourage them to use the crayons they want to use in their coloring book and do not be surprised if you see a purple horse or a red elephant.
Follow the rule that teachers use when they are teaching a new skill:
First, I do.
Then we do.
Then you do.
Whether it’s shoe tying or making a sandwich, start by showing your child what to do. Then practice the same skill together, working side by side. Finally, let your child do it alone, first while you watch and then independently. And let me just say one word here about shoes—the bane of every kindergarten teacher. Shoelaces do not stay tied. “They drag on the floor. They drag across the restroom floor. They go into kids’ mouths,” a kindergarten teacher told me. “They need my help retying them. If I have 25 students, that’s 50 feet. And at 30 seconds per shoe tie, that’s 25 minutes a day I’m not teaching them letters or numbers or how to get along with others,” she said. That doesn’t mean children have to be able to tie their shoes before they start kindergarten. “Just put them in different shoes,” the teacher wisely advised. And really, just reread that part about shoelaces that have dragged on the kindergarten restroom floor ending up in the child’s mouth. You’ll probably keep your kid in Velcro shoes until they’re 20.
Kristen J. Amundson is a former teacher, school board chair, state legislator, and CEO of a national education organization. This column is excerpted from her book 81 Questions for Parents: Helping Your Kids Succeed in School, published by Rowman & Littlefield. It is also available on Amazon.