Kweku’s Korner
By Dr. Kweku Akyirefi Amoasi
Kweku Akyirefi Amoasi, formerly known as Ramel Smith
In our small series on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we discuss therapeutic ways to deal with past experiences (acceptance) and the resulting continual dysfunctional thoughts (cognitive diffusion) that keep us in a state of distress. After we capture and reframe the negative and/or untrue subconscious thoughts, we are ready to engage in the next phase of Being Present. How do we not be paralyzed by the pains of the past or the fears of the future? We live in the moment, the gift of the present.
We hear buzzwords like mindfulness and meditation, but they are more than buzzwords. To be mindful is to be intentional in our thought process. We will no longer let those trauma triggers keep us from living our full and best lives. The person who was robbed, raped, ridiculed, relinquished of their wealth, or met with an unrequited love situation will often live a lower quality of life because some nefarious character stole their love of life. In order to protect themselves from painful memories or being wronged again, they shut it down. Well, not here. We will live in the moment, and we choose to take our life back one step at a time. Yes, we hurt, but the biggest gift we give our villain is the ability to also steal our past. My maternal grandmother, Momma Daisy, used to tell us “The best way to heal yourself is to help others.” She went on to say, when you are hungry, feed someone; when you are broke, give someone some money; when you are sad, give someone else uplift. This confused me as a small child. How can you give, where you have nothing to give? The lesson she was teaching us was how to live in the moment and take the focus off ourselves. In a place where we take so much for granted, we must realize our poverty is someone else’s riches. We give from the abundance of our prizes we take for granted.
Now, if we can give to others, how much to ourselves? If we can encourage another, why can’t we encourage ourselves? Why can’t we pray for ourselves? Why can’t we imagine a beautiful situation for us? Through breathing, meditation, prayer, yoga, walking, running, biking, cleaning, gardening, or cooking we can take steps to health. Now, let’s take it up a notch, now let’s give ourselves positive self-affirmations. Let’s have personal mantras that encourage us. Let us repeat scriptures, poems, and wise sayings that build our self-love and confidence.
The key is for us to love the moment and create the life we want and deserve. I listen to and read personal testimonies of those who overcame because it gives hope that it is possible with the work. When we are in the moment, it is easier to block the past and future. Psychological rigidity must be replaced with the flexibility to know that healing is possible and that it starts with our mindset. We cannot change the past, but we change and influence our future. It begins with our thoughts and manifests through our will and actions. And remember, you do not have to do this alone.